A Funny thing happened on the way from the bank!

So, today I withdrew our worker’s weekly salary. I used the “Old Folks” line at the bank for the first time. I usually take my Kindle to the bank because the lines can be long. However, this time I decided to use the short one. I didn’t feel the least bit embarrassed. I waited five minutes, got Two Thousand Reais and left.

Walking with a wad of cash can be dangerous here. But, I walked. Looking as nonchalant as I could with a bulging pocket. Don't worry, I am not leading up to a robbery story.

My walk took me to the nearest “Old Folks” Parking spot about five blocks from the bank! Brazilians have the concept of making room for the old and weak but they often lack the space to do it.

Anyway, as I get into the van I decide to separate all of the dough! I split the wad into three piles. One for the mason, one for his helper and one for the electrician. Then I thought of a cool hiding place for the cash. In my Tiger’s cap. No one would see it and it would be safe there until I arrived on the jobsite.

I whipped out of the parking lot and through the first green light and directly into the next RED light. The stop light timing here in Sorocaba usually ticks me off! Just as I came to that fresh red light my head starts to itches. I am a really itchy person by nature. Without a thought off came my cap and out the window blew R$1000 Brazilian Bucks!!!

The explosion was so quick that, for a millisecond, I couldn't figure out what had happened. My mind spun as I realized that all of the bills in my baseball cap had burst into the fast lane just like the pigeons at the Piazza San Marco in Venice Italy! I know you know what I mean.

I wish that I had footage! Because the next 25 seconds flew by quicker than most. I bolted out the door and scrambled after twenty fifties like a nutjob on one of those game shows of yesteryear. Just as I dove for the first fist full of fifties I noticed that the van started to roll backward!!

Like lightning I sprang back into the driver’s seat and yanked the parking brake. Out I went again and onto the rough pavement grabbing for dollars, or Reais as you will. PRAISE GOD those stiff bills were glued fast to the asphalt even with the stiff breeze and passing cars. The bus driver next to me must have been laughing his fool head off at my Old Folks antics.

Usually a light goes red for 30ish seconds whether north or south of the equator. That is about how long I had for all of the above to transpire. I had bills stuffed everywhere and immediately the light turned green and off I spead. Looking into the rearview mirror I didn’t see any left behind.

However, as I got close to the work site I decided to pull over and separate the pay piles again. They were in little crushed wads all over the place. I began to pry them open and stack them. One, two three... nine ten, eleven, twelve. Whew! One pile complete. Next pile: one two three four five six... I was MISSING TWO BILLS! “Father where are they?!” I whispered my plea to the Almighty. I turned around to see one next to the curb. It had been stuck on the seat belt or something and when I opened the door it fell out. The last one was under my Kindle! Praise You Father. Oh man what a trip!!

Tottering!

I was watching my one year old grandson, Brandon, today. He had on some baggy little shorts, weird flip-flops over his socks, and he was tottering. It made me think about how I often feel these days. Funny how that when we are little and "innocent" and tottering in our baggy pants, with our little potbelly sticking out from under our t-shirt we look precious. When we are older and tottering in our low slung trousers and the same potbelly, we looks pathetic! I guess that the two drastically opposite points of view are based on the viewer's chronological perspective. Brandon is growing and I'm dying. He is cute because the little guy has a lot to learn and we love to see him progress. The old guy has already had his chance at learning and what he is progressing toward is not quite so much fun to ponder. When I have these weird thoughts I praise my God because He never lets go of my hand whether a tottering little guy or an old one. And I found this verse to prove my po...

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